Why consistency issues? Why am I constant? Why do some wrestle with consistency? How are you going to be extra constant?
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Let’s Speak About Consistency
Ray Higdon: Consistency, let’s speak about that. So should you’re new and also you don’t know, first time seeing a few of my stuff, I’m form of recognized for that. I’m recognized for being constant. I’ve completed at the very least one video a day, on daily basis, since July fifteenth of 2009, as a result of I’m a lunatic. So over 11 years, I’ve by no means missed a day. And let’s speak about that. Why? Why am I constant? Why do some wrestle with consistency?
So why am I constant? As a result of I draw the conclusion that every day could be the day that my content material hits somebody that utterly adjustments their life, and I draw a large precedence to that, however I additionally draw large significance to that. So all the pieces that I do, and I’m possibly one of many few that’ll clue you in on this, all the pieces I do is egocentric. Actually, all the pieces I do is egocentric. I do it as a result of it makes me really feel good. So it makes me really feel good to see folks have breakthroughs, to have folks ship me thank yous. So I’ve included that mind-set of what makes me really feel good, what makes me really feel vital, and actually, this can be a wholesome coping mechanism that I created from my childhood of not having a voice, of not having the ability to have an opinion.
I imply, if somebody requested me if I used to be hungry and I stated I used to be hungry, I’d get smacked, as a result of I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion. I wasn’t allowed to have a voice. I wasn’t allowed to talk out ever. And so the coping mechanism is that I acquired actually good at what I do. And I draw the conclusion that I’ve to indicate as much as assist folks, and that’s what makes me really feel vital, like what I’m doing is worthy of doing. And in order that’s what consistency seems like. Consistency seems such as you do it whether or not you’re feeling prefer it or not, and also you’re drawing the correct conclusions to why you’re constant.
So what’s the reverse? What’s the other? What’s somebody who just isn’t constant, or possibly they’re constant for slightly bit, then they fall off, constant for slightly bit, then they fall off. You realize, there’s a pair issues there. The primary cause that somebody isn’t constant is as a result of it’s a safety mechanism. It’s defending from that individual creating an excessive amount of success. And I do know that sounds unusual. It’s like, nicely, who doesn’t need that? Who needs much less success? Properly, the individual that has the inaccurate assumption about success will forestall it.
And so I’ll share a fast story. I don’t know if this individual’s on right here. I don’t title the individual. However every week in the past, I did a fast 10 minute teaching name with somebody who I believe is superior, and he or she shared with me that for 4 years, she’s been attempting to construct her enterprise, and it’ll go up and it’ll come down, and it’ll go up and it’ll come down. It’ll go up, after which it’ll come down. And so she stated a phrase that triggered me to throw what I’d name a poke. And so she threw a phrase of, you already know, I simply don’t wish to disappoint folks. And so normally folks which can be so anxious about disappointing others was disenchanted of their previous. And they also take a look at who disenchanted them so drastically, and so they vow by no means to develop into that factor.
And so I poked her. And typically a poke is correct. Typically it’s a close to miss. Typically it’s useless on. I threw the poke, and the poke was, who disenchanted you as a child? Now right here she thought she was going to speak about each day routines and checklists, and right here’s the best way to prospect folks, as a result of everybody needs data. What they don’t perceive is it’s emotion. When you have an emotional difficulty, I can shove data down your throat all day lengthy, you continue to ain’t going to do the work. You ain’t going to do it. Otherwise you’ll do it for slightly bit and then you definately’ll cease once more, as a result of that’s the sample.
And so I requested her, I stated, “Who disenchanted you as a baby?” And she or he stated, “Properly, I don’t know that it’s disappointment, however possibly disgrace.” I’m like, okay. So see what I imply by a poke? A poke is, let me, we don’t acquired time to fiddle, let’s get to the basis of the issue as shortly as potential. So I throw a poke, which typically lands instantly and like, oh my God, sure, precisely. Or typically it will get me there. It simply will get me there quicker.
And so she says, “Properly, possibly it’s disgrace.” And she or he proceeds to share with me that her mother was a prostitute, and share with me another issues. However for this story, that’s the one pertinent truth. And I stated, “Obtained it. Okay.” And I stated, “I’m simply curious,” as a result of I do know that this individual builds on social media. And so I begin seeing a potential path, however I would like to substantiate some issues. So I ask her, I say, “I’m simply curious. Do locals and household and good friend, do they know this? Do they know that your mother went via that and did that?”
And she or he stated, “Yeah, all of them know. Buddies, household, locals, all of them know the story.” And I stated, “Okay.” After which she volunteered one thing that sealed the deal, that made me perceive precisely what was happening. And she or he stated, “And my mom’s nonetheless alive.” Obtained it. And so I stated, “The rationale you’re sabotaging your success is since you imagine in case you have an excessive amount of success, that these native yokels, family and friends, will begin posting on-line how yeah, you’re profitable, however your mother was a prostitute, and that will convey disgrace to your mother, wouldn’t it?” And she or he began crying.
And I stated, “And you’d do something on this planet to not convey disgrace to mama, wouldn’t you?” She stated, “Completely.” And so now we’re on the root of the issue, however how will we repair it? And so I stated, “There’s one other means to have a look at this. Your mother actually did all the pieces to attempt to provide you with a greater life than she had. And for that to be the rationale that you just don’t succeed, that you just don’t attain your potential, it’s an actual slap within the face. If you happen to create success, should you exit and attain your highest potential and affect folks everywhere in the world, then it can have been price what she went via.”
And so she’s crying, and it actually impacted her. And we acquired to the issue. And she or he texted me a pair days later of how she had a dialog along with her mother, and he or she’s going to blow this mom up. And so consistency, if you’re missing consistency, do you see how in her state of affairs, like nearly each state of affairs I’ve ever actually coached, is a safety mechanism. Let me shield mama from extra disgrace. Let me shield me from feeling unhealthy as a result of mama is being shamed. I imply, you’ll kill folks for that, proper? You assume somebody will cease being constant. Oh, it’ll [inaudible] excessive. And she or he would possibly cap anyone to forestall that form of disgrace as a result of she doesn’t wish to really feel that. And what she simply wanted to appreciate is that the mother did it for her.
And so, so usually persons are searching for extra data or methods or suggestions or nuggets or techniques or ideas or hashtags, or what’s the most recent, best no matter, proper? AI, recruiting, automation bullshit. And what they actually need is to know that as a result of that individual deserted them earlier in life, they’ve this theme that’s exhibiting up as a enterprise downside. And so should you’re not constant, you’re drawing the flawed conclusions. That’s it, that’s all it’s. You’re drawing the flawed conclusions.
You’re both not understanding that with consistency, you may make a big effect on this planet, you may assist extra folks, you may really feel higher about your self, you may create self-worth the place there was none, otherwise you’re simply defending your self. Perhaps, right here’s an actual frequent one, and in reality in our e-book we speak about this, however right here’s one other frequent one. It’s only a safety mechanism.
If you happen to noticed, and we share a narrative about this in our Time, Cash, Freedom e-book, however should you noticed one in all your loved ones members make a bunch of cash, whether or not they gained the lotto or constructed a enterprise or no matter, and so they misplaced all of it, so should you noticed somebody near you, a mother or father, an aunt, uncle, brother, no matter, should you noticed somebody make a bunch of cash and lose it, and even should you did this, should you made a bunch of cash and misplaced it, and also you had been ridiculed and also you had been made enjoyable of, or that member of the family was made enjoyable of, guess what you’ll do to guard your self? You’ll shield your self from making some huge cash, as a result of your unconscious will draw the conclusion of, nicely, people who make some huge cash find yourself dropping it will definitely, find yourself being made enjoyable of, find yourself being ridiculed, and I don’t need that crap in my life.
So that you’ll by no means consciously say this. Nobody says, “I don’t wish to make some huge cash as a result of I would lose it like Uncle Earl after which I’ll really feel silly.” Nobody ever consciously says that, however of their actions, they may cease exhibiting up, or they’ll begin having success in a community advertising and marketing firm, and proper as they’re about to cross into diamond land or crown diamond or no matter, one thing will occur. The CEO will piss them off, somebody will misspell their title, and so they’ll be offended and so they’ll go some other place and begin over, as a result of there’s a ceiling the place if I attain this ceiling proper right here, no matter that’s, and for some people who’s 50,000 a 12 months, some folks it’s 50,000 a day, proper? It varies. The temperature of your ceiling varies.
I see this on a regular basis, somebody that will get to a sure degree of success after which falls off, will get to a sure degree, falls off, will get to a sure degree, it’s a safety mechanism. It’s not simply the, wow, what an odd collection of coincidences that I at all times appear to peter out at this degree. That’s not coincidence. You’re creating that as a result of you’re a creator. You create your actuality.
See, folks assume that their bodily actuality creates their character. Your character creates your bodily actuality. Most individuals are to their very own default settings, they let their bodily actuality. What occurs in an organization? What occurs as I stroll down the road? What occurs in prospecting? That no matter occurs, I acquired fired, or she left me, or no matter, that bodily route creates their character after which the character simply runs. You even have the facility to create your bodily actuality.
