Immediately’s coaching is about deal with rejection on this laser teaching visitor, Renee Adam’s enterprise. As soon as you determine deal with it is possible for you to to maneuver previous when you’re rejected and proceed ahead to get these “yeses” in your community advertising and marketing enterprise.

If you wish to see the total coaching click on HERE or the picture under…

Laser Teaching With Renee Adams

Ray Higdon: We’ve got laser teaching, and it is a movie star laser teaching, we should always name it, as a result of this individual was a contestant on Play to Win. She is somebody that I truly brag about so much. She is likely one of the uncommon birds that has made me cry during the last yr or so. And so please assist me welcome Miss Renee Adams. Renee, how are you?

Renee Adams: Good, Ray. Thanks. Thanks for having me on. I’m excited.

Ray Higdon: Sure. Sure, sure, sure. So when you’re in Rank Makers, you’ve heard me speak about Renee. Renee has been by means of so much in her life and she or he is boldly shifting ahead to assist others and share her story and been enjoying huge. Mary Kate requested me if, “Hey, is it okay if we do Renee?” And one of many causes that I feel it’s essential is I really feel like some folks assume that after they’ve a breakthrough, it’s like, “Oh my God, then my life was really easy,” and that’s simply not how it’s. I might say the final eight months, I’ve had a few of my very hardest occasions within the final 10 years. I don’t imply financially essentially, however I imply mentally.

I heard, I’ll see if this resonates with you, so there’s one thing, there’s a video on the market I did referred to as The Darkish Evening of the Soul, and I received that time period from Dr. Joe Dispenza, however I not too long ago heard of the Reverend Dr. Michael Beckwith speak about darkish night time of the soul, and the way he defined it was so lifeless on of how I felt it. He stated, “The darkish night time of the soul is when you realize that you just’ve had an awakening and you realize that you just’re a unique individual, however the path hasn’t proven up for you but. So that you’re nonetheless battling your previous demons. You’re nonetheless battling your previous addictions to feelings. You’re nonetheless battling your previous emotions.

And you realize that they’re not congruent with you, however the brand new ones haven’t proven up but and also you don’t know what the hell to do.” And so I’ve had a few these over this final eight months, and you’ll assume that I’m well past that stuff. And so I assumed it’d be actually cool to carry you out right here, see how we may help you, see what you’re going by means of. I do know you’ve gone by means of a number of transformation over this final yr or two since Play to Win. And so inform me the place you’re at.

Renee Adams: Ooh, it’s been a journey. It has been a journey. Effectively, after I was on Play to Win, I had not a clue. I had not a clue. Effectively, I shouldn’t say that, truly. I simply didn’t really feel worthy. I didn’t really feel like I used to be sufficient, and due to my previous expertise. And when you don’t know, I’m simply going to present a little bit situation. I used to be adopted on the age of two, and I used to be put again in an orphanage for little one abuse on the age of 13. From the age of 13 by means of to the age of 17, I skilled little one trafficking. I assumed the kid abuse was like the big factor, however little one trafficking.

So it’s been a journey. It has been a complete journey. I used to be on Play to Win. Ray had taken me truly across the constructing of the Sunshine Seafood Cafe and Bar. In any case, we went round. He stated, “Hey, can I discuss to you for a minute?” and at the present time modified my life. I didn’t assume I used to be going to do that. However he took me by the hand and he simply checked out me and he stated, “Renee,” he stated, “it’s essential to inform your story. You could inform your story. Somebody on the market wants to listen to your story.” I got here again and I feel inside, I don’t know, a few weeks or so, I went again to a spot that I had been at in my life, and that was the YWCA and Younger Ladies of America.

And so I’ve simply tried to maneuver up and simply tried to beat my previous. I’m an advocate now for human trafficking. I’ve spoke, nicely, this will likely be my third time subsequent month, on the Statehouse right here in Columbus. There was 42 states and 19 nations that attended, so it was large. So I simply hold going and going and going and pushing. Proper now, as Ray and Mary Kate know, I’m pushing to be a CASA, which is a volunteer and it’s a advocate for kids, for little one abuse.

So I’ve been doing so much, however I not too long ago discovered my organic household and that has simply hit me so exhausting within the coronary heart. I’m going to let you know the place I’m at, Ray, they actually don’t need to join. I’ve had rejection all my life, and I’m caught. I’m so caught. I don’t know. I attempt to be the higher individual each day than I used to be yesterday, however I’m so caught proper now. And it’s like, okay, I wakened two days in the past and I simply stated, “That is it. I’m carried out. I’m carried out combating this in my head and in my coronary heart. I’m simply carried out.” So, that’s the place I’m at. Thanks.

Ray Higdon: Yeah. How did this occur? How did you reconnect with them? Or how’d you discover them? Or how did this go down?

Renee Adams: Yeah, okay. So I did an Ancestry DNA. Ancestry DNA. And on my birthday, truly, proper after the present Play to Win, Mary Kate interviewed me and she or he advised me my nationality. Then from there, as a result of I by no means knew, I carried this burden round of not feeling worthy, not ok for over 47 years, so I assumed this may be actually cool to search out out, who am I? Who am I? And so I discovered my nationality. Then my mom’s facet got here alongside, and now my father’s facet got here alongside. Each of my organic mother and father are deceased, sadly. I don’t assume that my organic father knew that I used to be conceived. I don’t assume so in any respect. However he was a superb man. He had a grasp’s in schooling. He had a grasp’s in social work. He was within the Navy. I imply, he was a speaker. He was a speaker. And so, truly, I simply talked to his spouse of 17 years three nights in the past. Yeah. So it’s actually cool [crosstalk]-

Ray Higdon: So your organic mother and pop had been by no means married?

Renee Adams: No, no.

Ray Higdon: Okay. And if she’s of 17 years, then they weren’t collectively whenever you had been born.

Renee Adams: Precisely.

Ray Higdon: Proper.

Renee Adams: Yeah.

Ray Higdon: Okay. And so that you’re wanting to attach with mainly anybody from that household, both household tree, mainly, is what you’re–

Renee Adams: I’ve related with my mom’s facet. There’s 10 of us. All of us have totally different fathers. That’s just like the wild facet of the household that I’m seeing. I had a extremely troubled childhood. I imply, Ray, you realize my story in regards to the little one abuse. My palms tied behind my again, my ft, kneeling on rice, pondering that I might inform a lie. I’d must chew gum, after which each 10 minutes I’d have to lift it on a wall. And my ft had been like this, so then if I got here down, I might get the beating of my life. And despite the fact that I went by means of that, after listening to my organic sisters’ and brothers’ story and see their demeanor, I simply marvel if it was actually that unhealthy. That’s how unhealthy, as a result of that they had it so unhealthy. They lived behind males’s vans whereas I suppose my mom was begging for Completely satisfied Meals, and so it was simply loopy.

And now that I’ve met my father’s facet, it’s utterly totally different. All of them stand for who they’re. They take delight in who they’re, and it’s only a refreshing ambiance, surrounding ambiance, however not a lot as a result of I’m not wished, as a result of no person knew about me. So right here I are available in. And I perceive that in a means, however why? It’s like rejection. With my enterprise, with community advertising and marketing, that’s one factor that you just simply must be like a duck and let it roll off your again, interval, is rejection. That is my third firm. My second firm or my first firm, I received as much as director, I feel director two. I imply, I did fantastic. And I’m questioning if it’s as a result of I used to be naive, per se, I simply bumped into it, as a result of now I really feel like I simply have all these emotions and all these attributes of my previous life that… I don’t know.

Ray Higdon: Let me simply perceive the primary situation first after which we will go there.

Renee Adams: Certain. Certain, certain.

Ray Higdon: So, nicely, to start with, once more, sorry you went by means of all that. You didn’t deserve that. It simply sucks. It sucks to listen to that. In your dad’s facet, in order that they’re like, “Hey, thanks for sharing. We’re probably not certain what to do right here,” or not wanting to attach with you, I take it.

Renee Adams: Proper.

Ray Higdon: They received their very own stuff happening, their very own households–

Renee Adams: Yeah

Ray Higdon: … and stuff like that. Yeah. After which you might be actively related to these on the mom’s facet?

Renee Adams: Considerably, sure.

Ray Higdon: Considerably.

Renee Adams: Yeah. I needed to depart them the place they had been. It was like, I got here, I noticed, and I went. I’ve extra to supply myself, I suppose. I’m not judging them and I’m not placing them down. I simply assume that there’s all the time room for enchancment. I don’t care how unhealthy you’ve had it. I imply, I do care. I do care. I do care. However there needs to be some type of one thing that will get down within you and says, “Hey, I received to vary this. I received to vary this. I can’t hold doing the identical stuff.”

Ray Higdon: Yeah. So I bear in mind after we had been writing Time, Cash, Freedom, and I don’t bear in mind who even stated this, it would’ve been Steve, Hank’s companion, it would’ve been him, won’t have been him, I don’t know, however they stated, “This guide, Time, Cash, Freedom, is one thing that might assist anybody with their funds and relationships.” And I stated, “No, that’s truly not true.” And so they’re like, “What?” And I stated, “No, that is for anybody who desires to enhance their funds and relationships.” And so, to start with, I might say one factor that I’ve realized over time is that it’s not my job to create need for enchancment in others. It’s my job to serve that need. If they’ve a need, I’ll assist them with funds and relationships. If they don’t have a need, it’s truly dangerous to them and me for me to attempt to create that need in them.

Renee Adams: Precisely. Sure.

Ray Higdon: And so I might simply perceive that you just’re going to run into folks and also you may need a relation to them, you won’t, you is perhaps associated to them, you won’t, and a few of them aren’t going to need to search enchancment, which can appear very unusual to you. That’s not your job. Your job is to not create need in others. However there’s so many individuals on the market which have need but additionally have powerful tales that actually want to listen to your story.

And so even your half, so that you’ve in all probability heard me speak about this since you’re on a number of my stuff, however, I imply, I’m wanting round my workplace and I don’t even fill all of the drawers in right here anymore. I’ve a few issues on the wall. I offered all my watches. Mainly, all the pieces round me both has to carry me pleasure or carry me extra towards my function, or I don’t need it. I do know that we’re speaking about materials issues or no matter, however I feel it’s essential to take a look at that worldly as nicely. And so the daddy household not accepting you does truly, though it hurts, I’m certain, and it’s not the specified final result, it does serve your function of impacting extra folks.

Like, for instance, my story. So I didn’t discuss to my dad for 13 years, reached out to him and we created a relationship. It’s not good. It’s not 100%.

We’re not tossing the soccer backwards and forwards, however there’s one thing. We textual content one another, no matter. Lots of people, after they hear that story, they develop into hooked on the response they usually need to ship a letter or they need to ship one thing to somebody. “Effectively, I would like it to be like Ray’s.” And it will not be, proper?

Renee Adams: Proper.

Ray Higdon: And so that you not being accepted, it’s a continuation of the story, and I might see it because it does serve your function of impacting extra folks, as a result of there’s going to be far more folks that went by means of your sort of scenario that don’t get again accepted within the household than do. Does that make sense?

Renee Adams: Yeah, that makes large sense. Yeah.

Ray Higdon: It’s one thing that, it sucks, but once more. Right here’s one other ache level for you, proper? We thought the ache was carried out. The ache is just not carried out. However all it’s doing is take a look at, “How does this serve me? Does it? How does this serve me?” And it does since you’re going to talk to a number of audiences the place had you related and also you stated, “Yeah. I’m going to all of the household reunions now and it’s wonderful. And so they ship me birthday presents, and, oh my God,” and also you’re going to have half of the folks that went by means of your stuff say, “Effectively, that’s very nice for her. Not what I skilled.” You see what I imply?

Renee Adams: I do see what you imply.

Ray Higdon: You could have probably the most distinctive… I don’t need to say distinctive, however it’s distinctive. You could have probably the most highly effective tales to affect a really sure sort of person who may be very exhausting to affect. And the truth that you’ve overcome it, that you just survived it, that you just’ve thrived, that you just’ve develop into a beautiful individual, that’s simply testomony to your character, a testomony to your energy. And so your story, but once more, has been strengthened to affect much more folks. As a result of if folks hear your story versus my story, simply within the father or mother half, they hear my story, they get hooked on, “Effectively, hopefully me and Dad can throw the soccer round,” they hear your story and it’s both, “Yeah, I had the identical expertise,” or, “Mine was a little bit higher.” You see what I imply?

Renee Adams: Sure.

Ray Higdon: And so when you step again from the ache of what’s and observe, “Okay, how did this serve me?” It does serve you to affect extra folks. It’s a extra highly effective story now.

Renee Adams: That’s wonderful. That’s wonderful that you’d say that, yeah, as a result of it’s like, so now I’m not stopped lifeless in my tracks. I can simply hold going.

Ray Higdon: Yeah. As a result of it turns into a part of your story. It’s like, “And, hey, I’ve an replace on my story. And I discovered my dad, and I discovered my dad’s story and he’s good, and he’s this and he’s that. However you realize what? They didn’t need to have something to do with me.” And as you’re sharing this story, you’re saying, “And it’s important to perceive that you’ll have this in your life.” Proper? So that you’re fascinated about the coed, fascinated about the individual that you’re serving. You now have one other expertise which you can share that may serve them, that may assist them.

Renee Adams: Proper, yeah. Yeah, I do see that. I do see that. His spouse of 17 years, she wished me to return to a memorial, a memorial service. She’s the one one that desires me to return, and I used to be very honored. Then the subsequent factor I do know, similar to community advertising and marketing, ghost, ghost, ghost. It’s like, “Okay, I get it now. I can learn between the traces and I get it.” However that may be very highly effective.

Ray Higdon: Effectively, you’re saying she ghosted you?

Renee Adams: She ghosted me, however truly, this afternoon, she wished me to name her. She gave me her telephone quantity.

Ray Higdon: So don’t create tales. Don’t create tales. You don’t know if somebody’s been sick or one thing occurred. Let’s not assume as a result of those that have been by means of a number of ache, we do a number of assumptions. I do know I’ve.

Renee Adams: Sure, we do.

Ray Higdon: I’ve realized to appropriate that. Okay? I’ll provide you with a–

Renee Adams: [crosstalk] try this? How do you try this?

Ray Higdon: What’s that?

Renee Adams: How do you try this, Ray? How do you appropriate that? How do you flip your thoughts off of that?

Ray Higdon: You ask for readability. I’ll provide you with an instance. I received a number of of those. However so when you’ve been by means of trauma, when you’ve been by means of damage, you assume so much. You’re searching for, what’s essentially the most unfavourable factor on this scenario? And, hey, generally you’re proper. Proper? However whenever you search that and also you don’t search readability, you’re going to attract the incorrect conclusions.

So I bear in mind I used to be at a buddy’s marriage ceremony, and it was fairly hectic. It was a vacation spot marriage ceremony. So it was Jess and I, had Sabrina there, had my mother there. It’s a couple of years in the past. And Sabrina wasn’t feeling that good. Then my mother wasn’t feeling that good, who was imagined to be watching Sabrina. And so within the marriage ceremony reception, I’m going to my buddy and I’m like, “Hey, man, I’m sorry. I deliberate on partying all night time with you and all the pieces, however I received to return. My mother’s not feeling good.” And he’s like, “Oh, dude.” He gave me every kind of stuff, which guys do.

The subsequent day I noticed him and I’m like, “Hey, man, what’s happening?” He’s like, “Hey, what’s up man?” and he rushed previous me actually quick. And so in my head, it’s like, “Actually, dude? I come out to this vacation spot marriage ceremony and since I received to depart early, now, swiftly, you don’t even need to discuss to me.” I imply, to fly everybody there it was 5 grand to get there. So I draw all these conclusions. After which I’ve simply realized, I’m like, “You understand what? Let me simply search readability.” And so I messaged him, proper, and I stated, “Hey, man, I noticed you this morning. You had been actually brief with me. And perhaps I’m loopy. I don’t know when you’re mad that I needed to depart final night time, however with my mother and all the pieces, it was very powerful. I hated doing it.” And he’s like, “Dude, no, I used to be operating late for the therapeutic massage.”

Renee Adams: Oh, wow. Yeah.

Ray Higdon: Now, I’m telling you proper now, had I not sought readability, I in all probability wouldn’t have been his buddy anymore. I in all probability would’ve simply gone again and been like, “Yeah. Yeah, buddy. My daughter, my mother’s sick, and I spent all this cash to return on the market and also you’re…” I in all probability wouldn’t have been his buddy anymore, and that might have been all in my head. Because the groom, he was simply operating late to the therapeutic massage. That’s why he was in a rush. And so searching for readability, not assuming.

I bear in mind my, I don’t know if she’s watching, she in all probability is, however I bear in mind my mother… I forgot what I used to be doing. I used to be doing a unique talking gig or one thing the place I used to be out of city on weekends. This was fairly a couple of years in the past. I had been going to this service on Sundays and she or he would go there with me and stuff. Then I began simply an insane journey schedule, and so I simply couldn’t make it anymore. So I simply stopped going. And I bear in mind she leaves me this voicemail and she or he goes, “Hey, I don’t know what they did to you, Ray, but it surely’s their loss. You’re an amazing individual.” She had created this complete story that that they had pissed me off and that’s why I finished going. And so they didn’t do something.

Renee Adams: Proper.

Ray Higdon: And so all of us create these tales and until you search readability, you simply don’t know. You don’t have any thought. And so I’ve simply realized to, “Hey, am I assuming an excessive amount of right here? Am I making a story right here? Let me confirm this.” And so I might simply be very cautious, as a result of, one, I might simply ensure that. Proper? And it’s possible you’ll ensure that they usually could say, “To hell with you.” Proper? You bought to be ready for that, that you just did draw the best conclusion. But when I put myself of their sneakers, somebody who’s deceased, it’s in all probability extra of a, “Hey, are we actually honoring him…” you realize what I imply? “… by having this new storyline within the household tree?” I think about some might imagine that’s not serving of him. And so it’s not truly a rejection of you. It’s a rejection of, “I don’t need to tarnish his identify as a result of what will-”

Renee Adams: Oh, oh.

Ray Higdon: You see what I imply?

Renee Adams: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Ray Higdon: So I feel it’s, you possibly can be, stroll on water, Mom Teresa, essentially the most wonderful individual on the planet, however to the loyal deceased individual, that would very simply appear to be a problem to his honor or no matter.

Renee Adams: That makes a lot sense.

Ray Higdon: Not that I agree with that take, however I can completely see that as some folks’s take.

Renee Adams: That makes a lot sense. I by no means even thought from that perspective, Ray. Yeah. That’s loopy. That’s excellent. I’d by no means considered that. His spouse of 17 years, she stated, “Go to this school that’s right here in Ohio.” She stated, “There’s an enormous image and an enormous honor of him. Simply, all of the judges right here preferred him.” I imply, my dad was simply, again within the day, I suppose he was… And the factor is we in all probability crossed paths so many occasions. We in all probability did. However, yeah, precisely. And it is perhaps–

Ray Higdon: Particularly somebody like that. I imply somebody of notoriety and native movie star sort, and particularly somebody like that. He in all probability has his identify on buildings and stuff, and there’s going to be a good larger degree of protection for that type of individual being that they’re deceased.

Renee Adams: Sure. However I’m not searching for the celebrity. I’m simply wanting–

Ray Higdon: I do know that.

Renee Adams: I’m not searching for the celebrity. I’m simply searching for closure, simply to see the place I got here from. And now that I’m speaking about it, perhaps I simply am higher off, simply depart it alone, and simply proceed to dwell my life and simply wait. I imply, I’m not ready, per se, however simply let the playing cards fall the place they fall. Proper?

Ray Higdon: I imply, I feel, like what we began speaking about, I feel you’ve been given one thing that, like many issues that serves us, is painful at first. And so you possibly can solely management what you do. That’s it. We will’t give you higher pitches to get the opposite relations to just accept us. We will solely management what we do. And so you’re taking on this story which simply extends your already wonderful story, it’s going to affect extra folks, and that’s the place I might go.

One very last thing that I’ll let you know is one factor that Joe Dispenza actually made me conscious of is, the place is your vitality? And to such a degree that I’ve by no means heard anyone speak about and I’ve by no means thought this manner. So I’ll provide you with an instance.

If I’ve a thought of one thing, I need to clear up it so I can remove that string of vitality. So it’s in all probability finest to say it in a narrative. So for the final a number of years, we’ve had this storage unit and I had no thought what the hell was in that storage unit, however now and again I might simply have this considered, “I ponder what’s within the storage unit. I ponder what’s within the storage unit.” And that, I now am conscious, was stealing a share of my vitality for creation, for affect, for brand spanking new. It wasn’t serving me.

And so one Saturday I inform Jess, I’m like, “Hey, I received to go wipe out the storage unit.” And he or she’s like, “What are you speaking about? The one we’ve had for years?” I’m like, “Sure, it’s driving me nuts.” She goes, “It’s driving you nuts? How’s this driving you nuts? You don’t even know what’s in it.” I’m like, “Precisely. It’s received a bit of my thoughts. I don’t prefer it. I received to remove it.” And so I name up my buddy, Jeff, who I noticed his spouse on right here, and I stated, “Hey, man, will you come assist me?” And like many tasks, the poor man, it finally ends up being an all day challenge. And we donate/throw away a whole tractor trailer value of stuff. I did hold some issues and a few issues I offered. However simply now that vitality I’ve reclaimed. And so reclaimed vitality is so highly effective. Me simply fascinated about this factor, and it was similar to, it was taking a bit of my vitality.

And so this, I might take a look at it as, “This has added to my story. That is now what Napoleon Hill would name an asset for my profit, despite the fact that it hurts.” Proper? And I might take, “How a lot does it damage versus what number of will it serve?” And I feel it can serve lots of people. I feel it can serve 1000’s, if not tens of 1000’s, of individuals. And to me, the serving is larger than the ache. And in order that’s how I might take a look at it. And me personally, I might drop it. Now, if the spouse insisted on you coming, I might honor that and I might go. And if she doesn’t, then I might honor that too. However I might not pursue it. That’s simply me. That’s simply my–

Renee Adams: That’s superior. Good. Good.

Ray Higdon: Yeah. Was that useful?

Renee Adams: A lot perception. Sure. Oh my gosh. Sure, sure, sure. It truly is, it’s enlightening to me, as a result of I do know I’ve a narrative and I do know that I can affect, or I’m going to affect. And now, as a substitute of feeling like I’m stopped, feeling like, “Oh, I’m undeserving again-”

Ray Higdon: Be mindful they didn’t reject you. They don’t know you.

Renee Adams: Okay. Proper.

Ray Higdon: How may they reject you? They don’t know you. What they’re rejecting is what they might view because the tarnishing of their very influential, or no matter, father or uncle, brother, no matter. They’ll’t be rejecting you as a result of they don’t know you. And in order that’s one thing to grasp. You’re not being rejected once more.

They don’t know you. However what are they rejecting? Effectively, the one factor that I can consider they’d presumably be rejecting is, “Let’s not tarnish. He’s deceased. Let’s not mess that up.” As a result of that, they know. You, they don’t know. And so–

Renee Adams: That makes a lot sense. Oh my God. I’ve a lot readability now. I actually do, Ray. Thanks.

Ray Higdon: Superior.

Renee Adams: Thanks. Thanks. I’m going to take my story and I’m going to assist as many as I can.

Ray Higdon: Yep, completely. Completely. Effectively, love you, Renee. You’re wonderful.

Renee Adams: Love you too.

Ray Higdon: I respect you. Admire you. Give Renee some love. I imply, she is simply completely superior. We’re so pleased with her. I wished to point out that whenever you’re doing the work, she’s doing the powerful work, proper, and she or he’s carried out the powerful work, she’s persevering with to do the powerful work, and whenever you’re doing that, it’s not simply all uphill or all downhill, I suppose I might say. However generally you’re going to run into stuckness, generally you’re going to run into previous patterns, you’re going to make assumptions, create tales, and also you’ve received to continuously be checking your self. And so we’re rooting for you, Renee. Love you.

Renee Adams: Thanks. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Ray Higdon: Admire you. Superior. Effectively, if this was useful, be happy to share. Give her some love, and thanks for tuning in. Love you guys.

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