Right now Ray speaks on the right way to recover from what folks suppose. Having a enterprise on social media may very well be daunting when worrying about what others will suppose when posting content material.
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Laser Teaching With Jennie Potter
Ray Higdon: So I’m going to be teaching certainly one of our Internal Circle coaches. That program is designed to assist community entrepreneurs get to a 100K a yr. And so, generally they’re teaching somebody that’s already there, however a lot of the instances, it’s serving to somebody to get there. And so, this can be a very, essential a part of the Higdon Group. We’ve been working with this idea for 5 or 6 years now, and that program has helped lots of people, so it actually means quite a bit to me. I’ve certainly one of my very favourite folks on the planet earth, and it’s Internal Circle coach, Jennie Potter. Jennie, how are you?
Jennie Potter: Hey, hey, hey. Good, thanks. Thanks for having me, Ray. That is superior.
Ray Higdon: Yay. So discuss to me, first, let’s simply speak about how did you go about changing into an Internal Circle coach with us? Let’s speak about that first.
Jennie Potter: Positive. Yeah. So I jumped into Internal Circle teaching and had coach [Kaylee] work with me, and I actually-
Ray Higdon: So simply to make clear, you jumped in as a scholar?
Jennie Potter: As a scholar. Sure, completely. So I jumped in as a scholar, and coach Kaylee actually helped me get on monitor with how I used to be exhibiting up each day. So earlier than that, I used to be form of simply actually randomly, I used to be exhibiting up, I used to be working exhausting, however I wasn’t exhibiting up in any form of… There was no construction. There was no methodology to the insanity, and I didn’t know what labored or why it labored, I used to be simply working and reacting. And so, Kaylee actually helped me get a system in place in order that I may present up persistently, and that was actually highly effective. Inside a brief period of time in working with Kaylee, I acquired my first automobile bonus ever, I bumped up my earnings, and acquired on the highest of the leaderboard, and it’s simply been superior ever since. So tremendous highly effective. I really like the Internal Circle coaches, and we’re all nonetheless teaching one another too.
Ray Higdon: Superior. Yeah, and also you’ll see that almost all, I feel there could also be one exception, the vast majority of our Internal Circle coaches are merchandise of the product. They got here by Internal Circle as a scholar, achieved some outcomes, we resonated with them, and so they wished to teach extra folks, and so, it’s fairly neat. All proper. So I’m undoubtedly sport. I consider you wish to chat about the right way to assist a few of your shoppers, and I’m open to that. I’m open you probably have some stuff you wish to talk about, I’m open to that too. Typically I’m teaching the coach to assist them with their shoppers, generally I’m teaching instantly, and I don’t know anybody that was on Clubhouse immediately, I coached certainly one of Jennie’s shoppers, Andy [Bearden], who did a tremendous job. Ensure you give him a shout-out if you recognize him, or tag him or one thing, however he did a tremendous job, very susceptible, and generally it’s exhausting. Typically when teaching the dudes, they don’t open up, so I can’t actually go very deep with them, however he was keen to go there, and so, huge, huge shout-out to Andy. It’s Bearden, proper.
Jennie Potter: Sure, that’s proper.
Ray Higdon: Okay.
Jennie Potter: Yeah.
Ray Higdon: As a result of I hear that identify, I feel [Riordan], which is certainly one of my heroes. So Bearden, Received it. All proper. So Jennie, what do you wish to speak about?
Jennie Potter: Nicely, to start with, thanks, Ray, as a result of your teaching has actually helped me take my very own life, private life and enterprise to the following stage, simply having that entry and reference to you, and listening to you do the Laser Teaching is so highly effective for us as coaches, and as community entrepreneurs, and private. So thanks for that, and thanks for this time.
Ray Higdon: [inaudible].
Jennie Potter: One query that comes up that I don’t at all times know the right way to navigate, or it appears to maintain rearing, so we predict we’ve form of addressed it after which it’ll come up once more with a number of shoppers, is the caring what different folks suppose. So I’m curious your tackle that. I at all times love, you at all times appear to have the ability to come at issues a barely other ways. In order that caring about what different folks suppose, whether or not it’s posting on social media, so, “Hey, I my prospecting,” my consumer would possibly say “I did my prospecting, however I didn’t actually publish on social media.” “Oh, why not?” “Nicely, I simply don’t actually suppose that individuals care what I’ve to say,” or “I’m undecided what to publish,” however actually, once we dig in, it’s like they’re frightened about what individuals are going to say or take into consideration what they’re posting. After which after all, the identical factor with prospecting, or follow-up as effectively, it comes up in follow-up like, “What in the event that they suppose I’m pushy? I don’t wish to be a type of folks.” So actually paralyzed or not shifting ahead due to a lot deal with what different individuals are considering. In order that that’s a long-winded query, however.
Ray Higdon: No. So from my experiences, it’s virtually at all times going to be how they had been dealt with as a child from their dad and mom. And so, loads of instances, so, you’ve heard the time period “strong-willed,” proper? And so, loads of dad and mom, due to how they had been raised, if a child has been raised, as a result of this goes a number of generations, so if a child has been raised to be seen and never heard, proper? “You’re to talk if you’re spoken to,” and “Cease being so loud,” proper? And if somebody’s been raised that manner, after which they’ve a strong-willed youngster, they suppose it’s essentially the most alarming factor on the planet as a result of it’s like, “Oh my God, what do I do right here?” And so, they usually over-correct and try or reach breaking the spirit of the kid, and that youngster may go on to treatment most cancers, or may go on to be a tremendous scientist or no matter, however as a result of it’s so chemically totally different from how they had been raised and what they thought a baby was purported to be, it’s an alarmist form of state. And so, you would be in both a type of situations, proper?
Possibly you had been, I’m not saying you, however possibly the individual was raised to be seen, not heard, “You’re to talk if you’re spoken to,” and “Go to your room, you’re speaking an excessive amount of,” or “Be quiet, I’m making an attempt to observe TV.” And so, they had been taught to be quiet. So that is the, as a result of if you’re younger, all you’re all you’re working off of is you’re in alpha mode in your mind on a regular basis, and alpha mode is a really suggestible mode. So that is the mode that hypnotists will get you in, to allow them to make recommendations to you and you may incorporate them. It’s the mode that good meditation will get you in, not less than alpha, proper? That’s the start transformation. And so, as a child, you’re in alpha mode on a regular basis. You’re not likely frightened about particulars, essentially. You’re simply form of doing all your factor and no matter you need. And so, you’re extremely suggestible, so if you’re listening to that form of stuff, you possibly can take that on as, “Oh, that is how I’ve to be in all of my life, not simply as a child.” And so, bragging, following up with folks can be a nuisance to the person who was informed to be quiet usually. Or once more, the person who was a strongwilled youngster that was possibly not bodily, however spiritually crushed down, you’ll discover that they do much less to precise their voice.
And so, these are two widespread ones. Now, I must, for this specific factor, I’d need to even know extra or one thing like that, however that’s the place it’s at. It’s in that realm. It’s in that realm of what had been you informed to be as a child, and so they’re translating that as this different factor. Now, one different issue is, I had a consumer that she requested me at some point, she mentioned, “I feel I need assistance round cash mindset,” and she or he had simply crossed 1,000,000 {dollars} in her firm and I’m like, “Why do you suppose you want cash mindset? As a result of I’m simply curious.” As a result of most individuals that cross 1,000,000 don’t suppose they want cash mindset, so I’m curious why she thinks this. And he or she mentioned, “Nicely, I simply actually hate consideration. My firm needs to interview me, and so they wish to put me in {a magazine} and I’m similar to ugh.” And so, after I hear that form of factor, when it’s consideration based mostly, it’s often based mostly on a sibling. And so, I requested, I’m like, “Hey, do you will have siblings?” And he or she’s like, “Yeah,” and I mentioned, “Did certainly one of you get extra consideration than the opposite in a optimistic manner?” And he or she’s like, “Yeah.” She doesn’t… “The place the hell am I going?” Proper? And so, she was the straight A scholar, her sister was the unhealthy child. And so, she can be heralded upon on report card day, “Take a look at her. She’s wonderful,” and that very same day, her sister can be verbally crushed down. So she constructed the muscle of “Every time I get reward, my poor sister will get crushed down,” and that’s carried together with her her total life, and she or he’s a full grown lady.
And so, the issue with most points is that we’re drawing the flawed conclusion, however we’re drawing the conclusion we created as a child in that have, which will don’t have anything to do with proper now. And so, I’d simply, till that’s addressed, and I do deliver this up as a result of this can be a risk, by several types of hypnosis or several types of meditation, you possibly can truly transfer these feelings out of your physique, however from the little little bit of analysis I’ve accomplished, even with that, for those who don’t do the work, it comes again. And so, the work is determining which… I do know we’ve got a training program, proper? And I actually do wish to make folks self-sufficient, however I don’t know the right way to self-diagnose your downside, as a result of your bodymind is making an attempt to guard you always. So it takes your causes for a way you present up on the planet, and it hides them. It places them in slightly treasure chest within the backside of the psychological basement, in subfloor two, and it buries these issues and it doesn’t need you discovering them. So it often takes a 3rd celebration to say, “Hey, what’s that over there?” “Nothing.” Proper? And then you definitely dig in there and discover out, “Oh. Oh, oh my God. I by no means considered it that manner.” And so, that’s the work, helps them to navigate what’s the flawed conclusion they’re at present drawing to them getting extra consideration? You see what I imply?
Jennie Potter: I do.
Ray Higdon: As a result of in the case of posting issues on social media, see, some folks will prospect privately, and it solely hurts a lot, proper? But when I publish publicly, what if it takes off? What if I begin getting loads of consideration? And that, to the flawed conclusion, could be very, very scary, or very damaging, or very unsafe, or unknown. And so, that may be that one. So far as follow-up, that’s often simply, “I don’t wish to be a nuisance.” So, this individual could have been informed, “Hey, you’re such a pest, cease pestering me. Cease bothering me.” That’s a risk, or they’re simply so frightened of trying unhealthy, and the flip aspect of that’s most individuals, even folks actually good at gross sales, their majority of their gross sales come from follow-up. And so, that’s form of the deal that I’d discover. What conclusion do they not even know that they’re drawing, based mostly on these situations?
Jennie Potter: Positive. So, thanks. That’s superior, and also you simply linked some dots for me, and I admire that. If we had been to go slightly bit deeper, for those who’re cool with it-
Ray Higdon: Positive.
Jennie Potter: … your instance was nail on the top for me personally. Once I learn The Huge Leap and went by the questions, I can’t bear in mind which query it was, however I had this reminiscence, very vivid reminiscence of me handing my report card to my father very proudly, after which getting the, “Good woman,” and the affirmation, which is de facto, nonetheless to today, is type of my love language. After which my brother, not having an excellent report card, and the consequence was very totally different, and my type of like, “Oh, no, after I shine.” And I don’t know the way outdated I used to be, however a vivid reminiscence, after I shined, my brother will get harm. And so, after which after all, I’ve regarded for proof all through my life to make that true, to proceed to make that true, proper? So anytime I’ve accomplished effectively, I’ll discover, like if I get an award, I used to be awarded an organization award, immediately subsequent day, wham, prospecting stops, proper? Simply all exercise stops. And so, I’ve gotten faster at being conscious, like after I had that second of realization, I used to be like, “Oh, that’s why I finished for that month earlier than I shifted gears and acquired again in.” That’s highly effective stuff. So how can we, how do I, if we wish to be particular, what’s the work that I do to get quicker? As a result of I’m conscious now, I’m conscious of the shine piece, proper? I’m conscious, “Oh, after I shine, I pull again. Oh, there I am going pulling again.” So, is it simply an consciousness piece?
Ray Higdon: So I’d say it’s two issues, and one, being the observer is, so for those who purposely wish to change one thing and also you’re conscious of that factor that you really want totally different in your life, first step is altering your language about it. Okay? In the event you’re wanting to alter one thing, a sample, or an habit to an emotion, which some individuals are simply completely triggered by the phrase “habit,” it simply signifies that there’s a sample that you simply enter into since you’re used to it, actually. I imply, you would say that’s an habit, proper? So we’re hooked on our feelings. We’re hooked on our reactions.
And so, if you wish to change that form of factor, if you don’t actually know what’s happening, however you recognize you wish to change one thing, the first step is develop into an observer, proper? So that you’re now capable of observe. So, for up till, let’s see, how way back was that up? Till the age of 33, 32, I used to be on autopilot and I used to be not conscious. I had no acutely aware stage understanding of my programming. Somebody would say one thing, I’d react, they might problem me, I’d, “I’ll present you.” And so, I’d go and do issues on autopilot, whether or not I wished to or not. I used to be simply, I’m like, “I’m a passenger on this loopy automobile simply driving round.” And so, first is develop into conscious of, “Wait a minute. Why am I doing this? How come I react this manner? How come after I accomplish one thing, I are inclined to shy again?” And so, I’d work on the 2 sides of it. Proper? The nice and the unhealthy. So what’s the unhealthy aspect of it? The unhealthy aspect of it, and you would truly change this for those who did it cleverly, however the unhealthy aspect of it’s, “Okay, why am I doing this? Who am I defending, or what am I defending?” As a result of it’s at all times some form of safety. It’s at all times, “Let me shield myself from the unknown, shield myself from hurt.”
For instance, you’ll see, and this isn’t me saying this, proper? There’s loads of articles on the market, however there’s loads of ladies that in the event that they had been sexually abused as a child, they may purposely carry extra weight, proper? They’ll purposely eat extra, in order that they themselves really feel unattractive, which they consider makes them much less more likely to sadly, be raped. Proper? And so, what are we defending? What are our mechanisms? What’s happening right here? After which drawing the conclusion that, “You recognize what? I can truly transfer ahead with this and it not harm me,” or “And it not harm my brother.” You see what I imply?
Jennie Potter: Yeah.
Ray Higdon: So you will have, it’s a really actual factor of, for those who reside in a home along with your brother, you get good grades, he doesn’t, or regardless of the case, as youngsters, the person who’s shiny, we don’t like them, proper? Goody two sneakers, and “Oh, good for you, Ms. Excellent,” proper? We don’t like them as youngsters. That’s simply not, “I’m so completely happy for you.” No brother’s ever going to say that, ever. No sibling is ever going to say that. They’re going to not such as you, and that doesn’t really feel good. So that you suppose, “If I simply dimmer down, then they’ll like me,” which additionally isn’t the case. Proper? That placating, that, “Let me decrease myself,” not that you need to showboat, particularly as a child, however realizing that these emotions don’t have anything to do with these days. And so, you possibly can shine, and would possibly some folks be upset? Positive, however that’s of no doing of you, that’s their doing. And so, I’ll provide the instance. So in chapter two, you most likely know what I’m going to say, proper? However in chapter two, I share a narrative, and I’m going to significantly condense it right here as a result of I feel I’ve shared it twice immediately. However in chapter two, I share how I realized that my social anxiousness and my social… I’ve been social distancing because the third grade, proper? Mentally, mentally, proper?
So I’ve been retaining folks at a social distance from me for no matter age is third grade, to 2 years in the past, and the explanation was, is due to betrayal. I shared loads of my abuses with a steerage counselor that was assigned to me, and she or he betrayed me by telling the abuser what I used to be telling them, and she or he thought it was as a result of it was too outrageous. So in third grade, I created this, “I don’t belief folks, let me not be betrayed once more.” And so, after I turned conscious of that, so I’m getting, I’m attending to your situation. So, “Okay. Now I’m conscious,” proper? So the query is, “Might somebody betray me?” In fact. Proper? In fact. “And is that doable?” Sure, after all, somebody may betray me, and “Okay, what’s the top conclusion?” It’s their loss. I’m right here to alter the world, man. I’m right here to assist coaches like Jennie, coaches like Kaylee, coaches like [Forrest], I noticed him floating round right here. I’m right here to assist the folks I assist make an even bigger influence.
So I’m right here that will help you make an even bigger influence, and if somebody needs to betray that, then that’s their loss. That doesn’t imply I ought to present up smaller for concern of betrayal. That doesn’t imply I shouldn’t attempt to assist as many individuals develop into impactors as doable. I do know I’m not personally going to influence 10 million folks, however not directly I’m going to assist lots of people go and influence 1,000,000 lives. I wish to assist 1000’s, tens of 1000’s of individuals exit and influence 1,000,000 lives. I wish to assist tens of 1000’s of individuals construct colleges, and construct abuse facilities, and orphanages, and I wish to influence the impactors. I wish to do finest I can to assist the folks I work with, go on the market and completely change the world by their influence, proper? So concern of betrayal looks as if this huge, doesn’t it? Once I talk about it like that.
Jennie Potter: Yeah. Yeah.
Ray Higdon: And so, your story, as a result of I do know you’ve had totally different challenges, and your story may encourage lots of people. So the unhealthy aspect of it, once more, though I may change these on you, I may play switcheroo, as a result of I could make the unhealthy the nice, the nice the unhealthy, however let’s simply say the one aspect of it’s, is your brother affected by you shining proper now? The reply isn’t any. Okay? In order that’s the smaller aspect, that’s the priority aspect.
So what’s the upside? The upside is by you shining with the issues that you simply’ve overcome, with the issues that you simply’ve survived, it is possible for you to to influence extra folks. It is possible for you to to encourage extra folks. It is possible for you to to have extra folks come out of their shell. You’ll have extra those who had various things they struggled with that see you as a beacon of sunshine, as an inspiration, and they also’ll step up. And in order that, to me, false perception about brother being unhappy as a result of I’m getting the limelight, impacting so many individuals which might be in search of influence in a world the place it’s not at all times really easy to seek out inspiration, proper? With a lot negativity round, you recognize what I imply? So to me, that’s form of like my, “I may very well be betrayed although,” proper? I’m not going to let that little seed of risk forestall me from impacting impactors and serving to a legion, a battalion of warriors go and alter the world.
That simply doesn’t make any sense in any respect. So you must… Proper? You need to blow up the fact that you simply’re rising into an impacting machine, and that that’s infinitely extra necessary than the people who find themselves going to be sitting mad face as a result of, “Jennie P. acquired trophies.” Proper? You see what I imply? See, I make it ridiculous. I make it ridiculous, and I make this so fascinating, and that’s what you must do, after which it simply appears foolish to not shine.
Jennie Potter: And what’s so cool, generally, I assume there was most likely a giant portion of my life the place I wasn’t conscious that that was even an element, after which now having the attention after which having that piece that you simply simply talked about, similar to, “Okay, so do I wish to not shine, as a result of some thriller folks on the market would possibly get harm if I present up larger?” Simply asking myself that query, it’s a robust query, as a result of I don’t suppose I’m not consciously considering, “I higher not shine,” proper? And that’s the factor, is that we’re not acutely aware.
Ray Higdon: Nobody consciously thinks that.
Jennie Potter: Nobody is, nobody is, however individuals are like, “Oh, I don’t suppose I’ll present up immediately. I don’t suppose I’ll present up immediately. I’m not going to publish immediately,” or no matter it’s, “I’m not going to prospect immediately,” regardless of the factor is, and never consciously, however when you’re conscious, then you possibly can discover, “Hey, I’m not exhibiting up. Do I wish to not present up and never shine immediately, or do I wish to shine?” And I really like what you mentioned about impacting lives. So I wish to go on the market and influence lives, as a result of if something, Ray, that’s what you’ve helped me join with is that my mission is to assist folks step out of their consolation zone, and develop, and shine, be secure to shine, actually shine, and alter lives, and reside their goal. So thanks.
Ray Higdon: And by the way in which, you’re doing that, proper? It’s not sooner or later, you’re doing that.
Jennie Potter: Proper.
Ray Higdon: And so, we at all times like to put all the nice issues about us sooner or later, as a result of it’s so far-off from us, however you’re doing that. Your boy Andy gave you a shout-out on Clubhouse immediately, and I hear out of your shoppers on a regular basis. So, you’re doing it, and also you’ll proceed to do it, and proceed to blow it up.
Jennie Potter: Thanks, Ray. Admire it.
Ray Higdon: Useful?
Jennie Potter: Useful. Tremendous useful. Thanks.
Ray Higdon: Superior. We at all times like to put all the nice issues about us sooner or later, as a result of it’s so far-off from us, however you’re doing that. Your boy Andy gave you a shout-out on Clubhouse immediately, and I hear out of your shoppers on a regular basis. So, you’re doing…
